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Saturday, March 18, 2006

Beware! Premium Chicken Sandwiches Might Not Work Properly!

A trip to the local Walmart tonight helped me realize one more thing I never knew- like a public urinal, food at the McDonald's at Walmart might not work properly. Just for kicks, I walked up to the counter to ask for a chicken sandwich and the lady said that the ranch chicken sandwiches were indeed "out of order". I don't care if they're out of order, I want my damn chicken sandwich! I held back in asking for the manager so I could beg for a chicken sandwich even if the bun and mayo weren't working. I should've returned with a wrench and given them a hand with this chicken sandwich dilemma.


out

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Ass Kissers and Asses Protecting Assets

Corporate meetings can be a headache. Twice this week I had the alarm clock blaring at 4:30 in the morning. Why the company likes to conduct meetings from 6:00 am to 5:00 pm? I don't know. I'm getting tired of these company breakfasts and the uncomfortable bubbly guts feeling that follows after coffee marinates in your stomach. While most people are just starting their work day, I'm probably listening to big cheese speaker number three, sipping on coffee number four, finishing bagel number one, looking at the hour hand on my watch tick halfway between numbers nine and ten, thinking if I should grab cigarette number five even if it might make me do number two. Two sessions of this over the past week is a killer, and I have this to look forward to again this coming work week.

One meeting we had was about minimizing operating costs, protecting company assets, reporting monthly expenses, and preparing for yearly audits. I found this one somewhat interesting. Being with the company for three years, I pretty much discovered corporate loopholes that others probably already know but never talk about openly.

Are some people stupid? When you have the company auditor and asset protection team conducting a meeting, why would you dare ask a question that would raise a red flaf? Why would you volunteer yourself if you knew you were doing something wrong? During the meeting we were talking about researching serial numbers of items. The auditor asked for a volunteer so we could trace the transaction history of his mobile phone. So one guy volunteers and has the serial number of his phone scanned. To make a technical explanation short, it's plain to see that he's stealing or hasn't read the company code of business conduct and doesn't know the proper way of getting a business phone line. The auditor's ears turned red and all he could say was it was probably an error in the system. Before he asked for another serial number to sample, he took a screenshot. Fucked you are Mr. Volunteer.

If there is one thing I hate more than people asking irrelevant questions during meetings, it's ass kissers who ask questions that can change how we do our jobs. I hate the questions that start with "Is it okay if...?". These are the questions that usually put the plug on loopholes. If you've been doing something that's not in the books and haven't gotten in trouble for it, why ask for permission? "Is it okay if...?" is never hypothetical; Its reassurance that what they are already practicing won't get them fired. Ever notice when the question is answered with a "no", the brown noser will usually cover his tracks by saying, "Okay, I don't do that but I was just wondering.".

My four equations for office success from loopholes:

1) Integrity = Work Stability (Do everything right. It gets you by in the workplace and keeps you away from the bad radar.)

2) Curiousity + Risk - Fear = Work Excellence and Advantage
(Knowing company policy loopholes can help you manipulate people and results. It's not lying, stealing, or cheating. It's walking through an unmapped door out of the radar. Company bigwigs know the loopholes; They just hope that employees don't walk on these unchartered areas plus they rarely check.)

3) Head + Gut Feeling - Lips = Confidence and Respect
(If something that isn't written in stone doesn't feel right then stop. If you're guilty of doing something wrong, don't play butt darts with your nose. Brown nosers just look like what they kiss.)

4) Confidentiality = Trust
(Don't talk about it! Unless they say not to do it, never bring it up.)



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CD Review: Matisyahu - Youth


youth
Originally uploaded by lokeliko.
I haven't been impressed with rap over the past few years. On top of that, I haven't been too receptive to reggae influenced rap. (Damian Marley's Welcome To Jamrock is a smooth album but after a few listens, only "Beautiful" gets play on my iPod.) When I first heard of Matisyahu about two years ago, I thought that his Orthodox style (flat brimmed hat, thick beard, white shirt under black coat) was novelty to grab attention. I wasn't impressed with his first CD, "Shake Off The Dust... Arise" and let it collect dust. One year later with the release of "Live at Stubb's" I was blown away with "King Without A Crown", far better than the original recording. Matisyahu is one Hasidic Jewish rapper keepin' it real... kosher.

So with the release of "Youth", I've had the album on repeat in the car and iPod. Listening to reggae is at most times listening to tales of the rastafarian movement mixed with some ganja. Matisyahu takes the sound minus the reefer and raps about spirituality and self-realization without coming across as Snow meets DC Talk. Standout tracks are "Time of Your Song", "Indestructible", "Jerusalem" (kinda cool to hear him sing the chorus of Matthew Wilder's Break My Stride), "Late Night In Zion" and a new studio version of "King Without A Crown". Give this a listen. If you live in the Bay Area and are pissed with the cold weather, then you'll be more pissed that you can't open your car's sun roof while listening to this CD. Truly a sunny day disc.



Check out the "King Without A Crown" video at matismusic.com

5shots
5 out of 5 shots



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Cool tip!

Looking for free legal music downloads? Not exactly free forever but 50 free downloads when you check out EMusic. I discovered this site while looking for a copy of Operation:Doomsday from MF Doom. Not wanting to shell out $75.00 on Amazon for this out of print CD, I found the entire album to download from EMusic. It's a download to own service with different monthly rates, easy to cancel, but with a not so extensive library compared to iTunes (although after the freebies, downloads cost about half of what iTunes charges). If you are in to independent music or looking for hard to find titles, then you might find it here. Mostly independent artists like Hieroglyphics, Living Legends, and Sufjan Stevens but you can also find better known acts like Lil Jon, Bloc Party, and some b-sides from Coldplay.

One more tip- if you haven't heard of her, download the track "The Greatest" from Cat Power- possibly the greatest thing to come out since Sarah McLachlan's Surfacing. The album is a little more poppy than her earlier CDs- a cross between McLachlan and Beth Orton. Check her out, its free. Enjoy!