The City of Mountain View Proudly Presents...

...the Greatest Show on Earth...

...Walmart!

Every trip to my local Walmart is like going to a circus run by Filipinos. On a visit today to the circus to pick up some necessities, I observed more of the odd work ethics and practices of the predominantly Filipino team of stockers and cashiers that run the show. (I'm not hating, I'm promoting the show!)

At the door, I smile at the greeter, or is she the ticketmaster?, and she asks, "Kumusta? Filipino ka ba?" ("How are you doing? Are you Filipino?"). Umm, if I say no will you deny my entry and not let me see the lions and elephants?

Immediately, upon entry I see the snack bar. French fries, apple pie, ice cream, burgers, soda, and a clown! Actually its Ronald McDonald in front of the popular fast food chain, but the hungry occupants are circus workers eating their "baon" (packed lunch) of dried fish, salted egg, and fried rice. The smell of french fries and chicken nuggets is masked by a fishy smell, and other snack goers can't help but say, "That's interesting. What is it? Oh, sounds delightful!". I love Filipino breakfasts but I won't dare let others watch me devour it in the house of burgers and fries.

Once in a while you'll hear the ringmaster on the public announcement speaker. Sounds like someone got lost in the circus chaos! Months ago I heard a message similar to today's; "Mr. Tamayo, your wipe iss waiting por you!". Minutes later the ringmaster repeats the message and ends it saying, "Your wipe iss istill waiting por you. We called you pibe minutes ago!". The show must go on and the ringmaster puts on a show herself.

While going through the circus grounds I realized that I missed the greatest disappearing act ever! Again, on the loudspeaker, I hear the ringmaster say, "Employees of the sporting goods department, employees of the sporting goods department, please return to your department. Customer needs assistance." Where did they all go? Simply amazing!

Side shows can be found everywhere- high pitched singing voices that sound like birds, and people arguing in their native tongues, spitting foreign bad words at the speed of a machine gun. Today I also saw an amazing feat of strength and balance when a stocker moved about four cases of soda in each arm and topped it off with one on his head!

...and when the day is over, the stuffed toys are put back on the shelves after getting rowdy with the kids. As the animals are being locked away, the young Filipina animal tamers say to the bears and rabbits, "Cute na cute ka talaga! Nangigigil ako!". ("You're so very, very cute... times two! I just wanna bite you!")

Now that's another show...